I honestly am not sure what to say. For years now, I have listened to those around me praise Lost as a superbly convoluted drama which glues you to the television week after week. I have endured hearing the numerous Emmy nominations it has received, (and in some cases, won) and the Golden Globe it snagged. I was sick and tired of it.
At last, after persuasion from friends and family, I relented. If so many thought it to be the best show on television, it must at least be passable, right?
Wrong.
What puzzled me most about watching the first several episodes was the lack of quality in just about everything save the visual effects and cinematography. While the locations chosen sold me that they were truly stranded on an island in the Pacific, everything else failed to impress. The characters were tired and overused TV stereotypes we have seen again and again: Jack, the heroic and studly male; Kate, the attractive girl whose past is darkened by a criminal bad-streak; Charlie, the drug-addicted, British base player who views everything as a chance to get laid; Sayid, the tech-obsessed minority who is unjustly prejudiced against; Sawyer, the insensitive redneck; Hurley, the quintessential fat guy; Locke, the mysteriously creepy old man who holds some dark secret; and the list goes on and on.
Perhaps these flat characters could have been tolerable, if it were not for the bland writing that made me cringe more often than I would have liked. Honestly, I can pass the tech-stuff without much problem, (I realize that in TV that is sometimes a necessity), but it was the lack of intelligence and shameless suspense-building-dreck with which they were portrayed that truly drove me mad. Upon realization that a repeating distress call had been broadcasting from the island for over 16 years, one character's response was to wonder, (with some grave and supposedly suspenseful intonation) 'Where are we?' My question was, 'What about the fact that there were others stranded like you is so damn confusing?' It's as if that suddenly makes the island some sort of metaphysical playground, though that is exactly what it eventually turns out to be. How would someone derive that from a message which simply reads, 'Help me, I'm alone'? God only knows. Much of the other dialogue seemed forced and awkward as well. Instead of exploring the characters reactions to being hopelessly doomed to certain death on a foreign hunk of rock in the middle of nowhere, it was almost exclusively devoted to one of four functions: 1) Building suspense (as I have noted countless times, due to the frequency it was employed and my intense frustration as a result), 2) Throwing around cliched adages about fear and heroism, 3) Awkward jokes meant to relieve the non-existent tension, or 4) Recapping events from previous episodes in an intelligence insulting simplicity. I was taken completely out of the story-telling by the sheer absurdity of the afore-mentioned druggy, Charlie, trying to get in the pants of just about every female he came in contact with, or the number of times commercial breaks were heralded by cheesy one-liners, or the fact that at the beginning of each episode, one character would inevitably ask a pointless question to coax an explanatory response from another cast member to fill in new viewers. To make a long tale short, (and bring an even longer paragraph to a close) the writing was horrid. Enough said.
In addition, the sheer stupidity of some of the characters and plot points nearly forced me to scream at the computer screen. A few particular instances are called to mind, one being when Jack was attempting to save a man whose life was obviously forfeit with preciously limited medical supplies. When confronted by Sawyer, and rightfully so, Jack retorts that it is, you guessed it, the 'right thing to do'. Please, if confronted with their situation, the use of necessary medical supplies on a lost cause is ludicrously asinine. The priority should be the survival of those capable, not the squandering of materials! Another supremely ridiculous segment involved the monster which dwelled in the inner sanctum of the island's admittedly beautiful jungle interior. Rather than concoct some new and possibly intriguing menace to ravage the castaways, the producers chose a different direction.
They chose a polar bear.
On a frakking tropical island.
Hard to stomach, I know, but bear with me... Ugh, no pun intended. First of all, how the hell could a creature with immense amounts of stored fat for warmth survive in a tropical climate? What would it sustain itself with on an island with no other obviously apparent wildlife? How would it regulate body temperature? Second of all, our intrepid heroes bring it down with a 9mm handgun. If it is so difficult to take down one of these beasts with a high-caliber hunting rifle, how did they manage it with a pistol? I have no answers, and I'm sure there are none.
Overwhelmed with the logical, dramatic and plot problems inherent in the Lost 'verse, I couldn't make it past the third episode. Perhaps I am jumping the gun and haven't allowed the series to run its course, but I don't think so. In fact, looking back on the experience, it is easy to see why Lost has the fan-base it does. It is simplistic, suspenseful to the less educated among us and caters to the average individuals TV vice, serving up attractive people on a humid and sweaty island without bothering to address truly important or remotely interesting issues, as excellently produced shows like The Shield and Battlestar Galactica have.
To sum it all up, I am no fan of Lost. Hate me, agree with me, do what you will.
And So Say We All.
